Michael Bolton vs. Yanni
Just when you thought it was safe to open your fridge, it's the battle of the long-haired, easy-listening "gurus."
Michael Bolton versus Yanni.
Discuss.
Michael Bolton versus Yanni.
Discuss.
at
12:01 AM
9 Comments:
let's hope they beat one another badly.
Well, I'm giving this one to Yanni. I don't know how many of you know this but he is a champion swimmer so he's got the upper body strength. Plus, according to his website, "[his] music speaks to people of all races, all nations." And he has traveled the world. In his travels he has probably learned a few unique fighting styles. I mean c'mon, he's even been to the forbidden city! And if all else fails, he could just put old Mikey Bolton to sleep with his music then wail on him. Mike's only weapon is his own music... yeesh.
This one's tough. On the one hand, Michael Bolton listened to Delilah (Nicollette Sheridan) and cut the Samson locks. On the other hand, that hair could have proved to be his Achilles' heal; one handful of those long and curlies could have proved fatal. This too is Yanni's main weakness (if Bolton can execute) but when it's all said and done, something deep inside of me says that we've all vastly underestimated the power of Yanni's porn-'stache and he would be the victor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDevzgCjYaY
'Nuff said.
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
By the way, you all know that before he was a no talent ass clown that sang opera and adult contemporary, Michael Bolton was a no talent ass clown that was in an early '80s hair band, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_J_Tpm0N9bc
Ha. I was going to say Michael Bolton because who can play the soprano sax better than him...oops...that's Kenny G. Well. Maybe Yanni would win because we have never heard his voice...maybe he has a Mr. T voice and can take on Michael Bolton's "tell me how am I supposed to live without you..." whine...Yanni can show him how we can live without Michael B. Wow. Must be mumbly Friday.
I personally have to give the tiebreaker to Yanni. It's the mustache. I suspect it of having mystical powers which Yanni could use, along with his music, to put Michael Bolton in a trance-like state - whereupon, Yanni would commence pummeling Bolton back to the 70s.
My only question is how many times has Michael Bolton ever played at the Acropolis? I vote Yanni!
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